DEALING WITH CHANGE

Change is a fact of life.  You can't stop it.  But you don't have to drown in it.  Know yourself, learn specific coping skills to help you navigate, and develop a positive attitude.  Then, no matter what's changing at work or home, you can better cope with the changes confidently.

Change often means loss.  We all must detach from the familiar, and reattach to the new.  Many of
us get stuck along the way, even when we choose the change.  Healthy coping means dealing with losses realistically and letting go of what must be given up in order to move on.

Some changes occur suddenly.  Others build up more gradually.  When the impact hts, you may be in shock, enraged or in a panic.  You may feel like you're drowning; you may slip back into old, familiar, unproductive habits.  Instead, ask yourself, "What's at stake?" and "What can I do?".

Transition is the longest, most uncomfortable stage.  The old is gone; the new is not yet in sight.  This is a time for reflection as well as action.  A personal retreat or repeated brainstorming with people you trust will help you get clear.

DEVELOPING A POSITIVE ATTITUDE:

A positive attitude is crucial to adjusitng to change successfully.  How you perceive the situation determines how you experience it.  It's easy to fall into negative ways of seeing difficult experiences.

    *    Reach out. When your feeling low, you may be tempted to keep well-wishers and friends at arm's
          length.  You may turn to compulsive behaviours such as eating, shopping, smoking or working to
          help ease the tension.  But asking for love, encouragement, honest and caring feedback, or just an
          understanding ear can help you get back on course.  Reach out to those who care about you and
          who can help you see things as positively as possible.

    *    Laugh.  Humor is one of the best stress-relievers going.  Take the time to find the humor in your
          situation.  Humor and worry don't mix.  And research shows that laughing actually makes people
          healthier.

    *    Live the wellness way. Taking good care of your health will help you handle stressors more
          successfully.  Get exercise and enough rest, eat a balanced, healthy diet and you'll be ready for
          change.

    *    Have a good talk with yourself.  We talk to ourselves all the time -- usually critically.  But negative
          self-talk makes you feel worse.  Instead, notice all the little things you do right.  Make lists of your
          positive accomplishements and traits and post them in visible places.

    *    Relax and let go.  Successful coping depends on being able to relax and let everything go from time
          to time.  The body needs to renew itself and recharge.  You might try meditation, visualization, a
          hot bath, listening to music, or simply sleeping.

If you're stuck... Get help.  If, after trying all the skills suggested here, things still aren't working out, don't give up.  Depression is a common, reversible response to a big change.  Many people seek out professional help at times like this.  Contact the TNARS office for having an EFAP program at your workplace.

THOMPSON NICOLA ASSESSMENT
AND RESOURCE SERVICE

#408 - 153 Seymour Street,
Kamloops, B.C. V2C-2C7

Phone:  (250) 372-2262
Fax:      (250) 828-2263
Toll Free: 1-800-665-1095

e-mail: tnars@kamloops.net
 
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